Calling everything “cringe” is another form of cancel culture and I am NOT here for it.

Cringe culture can just up and exit society, it's intolerable

The other day I expressed my love for a certain content creator and my friend scoffed. “Cringe,” she said. “He’s too much.”

Okay, yes, he’s a dramatic youtuber. But he’s really a guy who actually means everything he says. His main content is criticizing the state of tv in Turkiye and he’s really passionate about it. Murat Soner for anyone who’s interested. He makes videos breaking down new soap operas and critiquing the effect they have on society. He’s got valid points, and he’s funny.

Apparently because he cares, he’s cringe. It got me questioning.

I’m not even quite sure what cringe means. Sometimes I’ll think something is genuinely really cool and I’ll hear someone else label it with that dreaded word. I scrunch up my face and go huh?? but it’s really awesome! and then my continued thought process goes something like this:

Is this cringe? 
What is cringe?
Am I cringe? 
Are you cringe?  (spoiler alert, you probably are, purely because you used the word cringe to describe something that someone was excited about for the purpose of shutting them down) 
What does any of this MEAN???

First of all, using the word cringe to dismiss anything is cringe behavior at its peak.

The word “cringe” used to be a word that meant secondhand embarrassment for something truly strange that you saw someone do. Maybe trying to appear sincere and failing. However, it evolved into a word to dismiss/shame any behavior that doesn’t fit into the current trend of appearing unbothered or “chill” in order to enforce social conformity.

It’s just a way of shaming people into bottling up their idiosyncrasies. Like a milder form of cancel culture that promotes emotional suppression. Sneakier perhaps, but suffocating.

What’s so wrong with “cringe”?

It creates an atmosphere (all of tiktok I fear) where people are afraid to express themselves genuinely for fear of being the target of judgement, labeled “too much" and “not chill.”

As a formerly homeschooled child, the obsession with nonchalance seems completely foreign to me. We’re used to geeking out about everything and going all in. Chill? No way¹.

I can see why it seems cool- mysterious and perhaps effortless- but it’s hollow. People desperately toning themselves down in order to do the thing (conform). It gives me such an ick.

Ironically, everyone seems extremely bothered about the not seeming bothered thing which is counter intuitive, but actually makes sense, because it’s an act (so then definitely not effortless). An act of pretending to be unfazed that slowly morphs into your personality by deleting the one you already had.

It’s gotten to the point that showing any sign of an emotional reaction in public means you’re running the risk of being snubbed with the label “cringe”. Being excited is embarrassing. Caring is embarrassing.

And people call other people out on it non stop. It’s such a killjoy atmosphere.

Shame is a great form of social control. Mean girls use it all the time. It keeps follower girlies in line, checks them when they get too independent. Fear of embarrassment is real, but it’s also a really toxic way of managing social interactions.

Why though?

Being called “cringe” is a short term social exile (you might be able to bounce back during the hangout and you might not). Your vibe has been canceled (you have no vibe).

Cringing at others is often just disguised insecurity. When people see someone being themselves and not apologizing for it, it can trigger a reality check. It reminds them that they’re on lockdown due to societal pressures. Watching someone else completely disregard the rules that dictate your existence and not suffer very many consequences for it is tough, I get it. The defense mechanism is to call them weird for it.

That brings me to a point.

Cringe is just being brave in public. All these stupid social rules that we’re taught to live by, a lot are a load of nonsense. (not all, don’t ignore basic social etiquette)

You don’t need to censor out the ‘not aloof and mysterious, chill, nonchalant’ parts of yourself in order to appear not embarrassing and awkward. See next part.

Embarrassing and awkward according to who??

That’s kind of the point. People have different interests and likes/loves (personalities, hello??). We get excited about different things in different ways. Some people like to throw parties for everything, some people cheer loudly, some people sing their favorite song at the top of their lungs and totally offkey in the car with their inlaws. Others make pinterest boards about everything. (see below)

I looked up what cringe means, and a redditor informed me that it’s embarrassing for a person other than yourself. NOt you. It’s not your problem.

The next time someone audibly “cringes” at something you do, or worse, says it out loud, literally just tell them, it isn’t cringe, I’m just being myself. Grin. Sometimes it puts people at ease and they turn out to be just as dramatic as you! Other times they just scoff or make a face. Again, their problem.

So yeah, Cool is curiosity, excitement, happiness for other people and expressing it. Cool is putting in effort, doing your best. Trying.

I’m gonna keep watching my dramatic youtuber and making pinterest boards and jumping up and down when I hear good news (we’re going for donuts). I’m gonna click super fast when my favorite Substack authors drop new pieces. I’m going to write about everything and be over the top, because it isn’t over the top. It’s just me.

TL;DR you think it’s cringe? suffer.

rugs

Home... haphazard thoughts of my mom and her roses.

1. An example of this would be that today, after receiving photos of my friend’s new ragdoll kittens (why do all ragdolls babies look like angels on earth?), I went and made a whole entire pinterest board on ragdolls. Not chill. Not nonchalant. BUT I WAS ENJOYING MYSELF. Tell me you wouldn’t do this.